Making a point: A letter to myself

Life / Sunday, July 5th, 2009

It’s all pointless, isn’t it? It really doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.

All the hopes and fears,we are so full of ourselves that we choke on the garbage we fill our minds with, and throw up before we can stuff anymore of ourselves down our throats. It’s all pointless, and it doesn’t mean a thing. We are tiny, tiny people with small minds living, occupying an infinitesimal amount of space in this universe. But we fill the universe with our world and believe they are one and the same. And we run out of space. Everything lives in our heads. Good or bad. The horrible client or the terrible ex, the friends who never understand you or the friends who should, all the stories about what happened and what will happen live in our head. And who rules our head?

Me, you say? I, am the lord of my kingdom, I run my life. In a way it’s true, and utterly untrue. It’s our petulant childish ego that runs our head and our lives, the ego that’s still looking for ways to compensate for being left out of the class play in kindergarten. It’s that ‘I’ who rules your head. And mine. A five year old. And we think we are in control. And we laugh at the thought, No that doesn’t apply to me. I am mature and smart and I know all the tricks my mind plays on me. And that’s still a trick your mind is playing on you.

The mind drags you away from the only thing that’s really important to your life, it takes you to stories of the past, and fantasies of the future. About how Happiness, with a capital H, will arrive when you have that job, and that car, and oh, that suit, and that film star. Or how you were such a hero in spite of all the villains in your life, and how you are so brave. And unique. And you are always living your life in the past, or in anticipation of the future, the carrot at the end of the stick which will make you happy.

The only point is here, now. It’s the only point that matters, and it’s all there is. Take your mind to here and now, stop holding on to the past. There is no reason to fear or worry. Or complain about why the world is not behaving the way I think it should behave. The world is. And so are you. We are. Here and now.

And in this one point, of here and now – where there is no past, or no future. There’s all the space you need. To do everything and anything. The point gets a little bigger each time, freeing up more space.

Live in this point, and this time. Now is where everything happens, and where absolutely anything is possible.

5 Replies to “Making a point: A letter to myself”

  1. Hey, it was really nice to have read your latest post. You did make references to a few points (subtle digs ?) so I am assuming you received the note I sent you, although it wasn’t published(which is fine/ good). Anyhow, all said and done finding meaning is the thing to do, very challenging though. And yes life should be about love, laughter and learning. I ‘d add caring too. Well… your recent post makes me wonder, have you read "Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankl ? No ? Seriously No ? Oh Gosh… you must read it.

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