First Love

The earliest memory I have of her is from ’82 or so (yeah, I am ancient – that’s where all the wisdom comes from) – someone in my society introduced me to her. The first meeting did not leave a very strong impression and I didn’t expect her to become what she means to me today. In fact, at that point in time, she was not even my secondary interest – probably tertiary or whatever comes after that.

But over the years, I kept on meeting her and I really started enjoying her company – fool that I was – I thought I loved her then, but how little did I understand love and how little did I understand of her.

The latter years of school really brought me close to her as I discovered new facets of my personality – there was so much more I could do. But I really didn’t see enough of her – home was a strict place with no time for fun – only studies and board exams.

And then I went off to college in a different city – and I no longer stayed with my family. And I renewed my friendship with her, and my passion reached a whole new level. I used to spend time with her almost every evening and that used to be the best part of my day. Three years passed by in a flash, and my best memories were of the time spent with her.

And then I entered the ‘real world’. I started working, and work life left little time for such flippant pleasures as spending time with the love of your life – of course I didn’t know it then. And I didn’t realize that I missed her. I just felt a vague unease that there is something missing. But I was working hard, and pursuing my goals, and I didn’t have enough time for her, or even enough time to think of her. But there came a time, when I achieved some of my goals. And I went off to business school.

And voila, there she was again, a part of my life. And I rediscovered a hunger for her which had only got keener with the passing of time. And I felt so good to be back with her. Very few feelings could compare with sheer joy, and the vitality I felt when I was playing around with her. I sometime felt that I would die purely due from the excess of joy I felt. I felt that if somebody pricked me with a pin, I would explode and happiness would come rushing out in the form incandescent light.

These happy times didn’t last long – 2 years rushed by and i was out again.

Back to the ‘real world’. And I shuttled around spending a few months in Cochin, a few months in Chennai before ending up in Mumbai. The difference this time was I knew what I was missing and could not but wait for the moment when I could renew my relationship with her.

And I would sit in meetings and dream about how she felt, and fantasise about spending time with her.

We did catch up again – but the hectic pace of Mumbai life meant that we met up only on weekends. And although I felt even more strongly about her – our relationship lacked the stability it had earlier. Frequent disappearances had left me badly suited to match her requirements. But I didn’t give up and kept on working on it.

Even over the past few years there have been highs and lows – like the 8 – 10 months last year, when she was completely out of my life barring the few occasions when our paths happened to cross – and I remembered how happy she made me.

Or like last July when I was serving my notice period and could leave early every day to meet her.

The new job doesn’t allow for too much time on weekdays, but I do manage to make time on weekends for her.

And she is a jealous lover now, she doesn’t like me drinking, or staying out late, and any smoking from my side has the potential to completely destroy my capacity for joy with her. So I plan my weekends around her. Some friends are not happy that i leave parties early – and some friends are unhappy that i dont turn up for quizzes.

But last Saturday I had an alumni party which happens once a year. And I knew I couldn’t miss it. So I went, and I drank. Although she was always at the back of my head – i did stay out and have a good time. It was quite late by the time I left.

And when I woke up next morning to meet up with her I was not my usual self, just a little slower. And a little heavier.

And when I got down to Juhu for to meet up with my first love, soccer, and my weekend soccer game I knew that I was not going to have my best game.

And mid game, I heard the dreaded crack – my left knee was pointing one way – my right foot the other.

Yesterday evening, the doctor said that I might have ruptured my Anterior Cruciate Ligament. A fairly common injury among us soccer stars 🙂 – Owen, Ronnie etc

That means another 6-8 weeks without her. Potentially 6 months. With lots of physiotherapy and discipline.

With the corporate tourney around the corner and my debut in the IIIrd division just a month away – it’s rather heartbreaking.

Everything happens for the best, and I am sure there is some good here.

So until I can go back to my first love, I am available for weekend plans – the doc says no dancing though.

Ps: Soccer is just my first love, she is my greatest love!

pps: Resources on ACL

What are the anterior cruciate ligaments?
The knee is stabilized by four main ligaments,: 2 collateral ligaments (medial and lateral) and 2 cruciate ligaments both anterior (front) and posterior (back). The cruciate ligaments attach to the femur (thigh bone) and travel within knee joint to the upper surface of the tibia (shin bone). The ligaments pass each other in the middle of the joint forming a cross shape, hence the name “cruciate”.
The anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) prevents the tibia from shifting forwards below the femur. The posterior ligament prevents backwards displacement of the tibia. Both ligaments are vital for the stability of the knee particularly in sports that require a lot of twisting and changing of direction such football and rugby.

How is the ACL injured?

The ACL is injured either through twisting the knee or through an impact to the side of the knee – often the outside, such as a rugby tackle.

Most ACL injuries come from twisting of the knee when the foot is firmly planted on the ground, deceleration or landing from a jump. If the ACL is injured through impact then it is very likely the medial ligaments and the menisci may also be injured – this known as “O’Donohue’s triad”.

Preventing ACL Injuries: Cannot really be prevented as these are one off cases. But some information here