It can be a small world


Narcissism / Monday, January 22nd, 2007

Pettyness never ceases to amaze me – especially when I haven’t done anything to hurt someone apart from being reserved or as most people perceive me ‘arrogant’ which I think is mainly an intersection of being reserved and being competent.

I remember this time during the soccer world cup when a certain male colleague (in my previous org) walks up to me smiling gleefully.

‘Brazil lost yesterday’ he says, with an ever broadening grin ‘did you see the match?’ This from a guy who had never discussed soccer with me, or with anyone else.

I can sense where this is heading, so I say quietly, without expression ‘yes I did’

‘So what do you think? Now that Brazil is out’ he keeps on pressing.

‘What is there to think? Are you so happy because you support France?’ I ask.

‘No’ he says ‘I am not supporting France, but I thought you were supporting Brazil’

‘Sorry, but I was supporting France, and I am really glad that they won’ (Wonder why people automatically assume that if you are soccer fan you must be supporting Brazil)
‘Oh’ he says, nonplussed. The grin is wiped off, the smirk disappears.

Shortly thereafter he does to.

And I am left with a mixture of disappointment and satisfaction. More of disappointment – that people can be like this.

And I was really on my way out then – I had decided to leave, and I knew that this was one of the reasons why I was leaving. Not the money, or the prospects, but the fact that the atmosphere was filled with this negativity and apparently i was the only one who sensed it.

And I am no saint (don’t go by my blog name), I have my failings – too many of them. I just hope that I don’t do this or something similar to anyone else.

I had a similar discussion with another ex-colleague, Santa.

Santa: ‘it is not good to have a high opinion of oneself’
me: ‘why?’
Santa: ‘because you are making other people feel bad’
me(almost falling out of my chair): ‘that doesnt make any sense – why should other people feel bad because i feel good about myself?’
Santa: ‘you dont understand’ – or words to that effect.

And another discussion with crazy frenchwoman 🙂 – also ex-colleague:

CFW: You should not think that you are right all the time.
me: I am not saying that I am right all the time, but in this series when was i wrong?
CFW: That’s not the point. You should not think that you are right all the time.
me: but come on, what matter is whether i was right or wrong, right? not whether i think i am right all the time? And i was right, right?
CFW: No, No – it’s rude to think you are right all the time. And even if someone else is wrong it is very rude to tell them that they were wrong.
me: but we were having the whole discussion about this? aargh you are crazy. And i am right.

Fortunately, crazy french woman tolerated my ‘righteousness’.

20 Replies to “It can be a small world”

  1. CFW: I never meant to say ” And even if someone else is wrong it is very rude to tell them that they were wrong.”. You sometimes have to tell others when they are wrong, for their own interest.
    What I was/am criticizing is the fact that you call them “stupid”. Telling someone, with tact, he is wrong is ok. Telling him “you are wrong, how could you be so stupid?” is rude.

  2. CFW: I never meant to say ” And even if someone else is wrong it is very rude to tell them that they were wrong.”. You sometimes have to tell others when they are wrong, for their own interest.What I was/am criticizing is the fact that you call them “stupid”. Telling someone, with tact, he is wrong is ok. Telling him “you are wrong, how could you be so stupid?” is rude.

  3. i agree – but what that was not the first thing i said – that was after the entire debate when the person and you were not seeing what was wrong – i said that it was a stupid thing to do in the end – not at first! and yeah, that was rude on my part – but i lost it because you guys refused to accept – even though you knew it

  4. i agree – but what that was not the first thing i said – that was after the entire debate when the person and you were not seeing what was wrong – i said that it was a stupid thing to do in the end – not at first! and yeah, that was rude on my part – but i lost it because you guys refused to accept – even though you knew it

  5. I ditto the person above. While I’m not the most polite person on the planet, I think telling people they’re stupid just rubs them the wrong way and shuts out any possibility of them accepting that they are wrong (even if they are).

    Nice title.

  6. I ditto the person above. While I’m not the most polite person on the planet, I think telling people they’re stupid just rubs them the wrong way and shuts out any possibility of them accepting that they are wrong (even if they are).Nice title.

  7. I have been gross misrepresented in this context. I’m sure that author knows his flaws, who I can assures is not mistaken to be Rude, because he is ‘reserved’ and ‘competent’! However, I do agree that he felt out of place owing to the fact that his intellectual capacity was unmatched in the previous organization’s peer group – which made him long for a place where he could hang out with more people from his tribe.

  8. I have been gross misrepresented in this context. I’m sure that author knows his flaws, who I can assures is not mistaken to be Rude, because he is ‘reserved’ and ‘competent’! However, I do agree that he felt out of place owing to the fact that his intellectual capacity was unmatched in the previous organization’s peer group – which made him long for a place where he could hang out with more people from his tribe.

  9. As a member of the organization, I can’t agree to this “his intellectual capacity was unmatched in the previous organization’s peer group”. I agree that our dear saint is smart and has high intellectual capacities, but I don’t see myself nor Santa as having inferior intellectual capacities. Santa, how much did he pay you for writing that?? :-p

  10. As a member of the organization, I can’t agree to this “his intellectual capacity was unmatched in the previous organization’s peer group”. I agree that our dear saint is smart and has high intellectual capacities, but I don’t see myself nor Santa as having inferior intellectual capacities. Santa, how much did he pay you for writing that?? :-p

  11. 🙂 lol, enjoyed reading this and getting a glimpse into the “saints” head…

    And because you reminded me, I was supporting England. Need not tell you how that went. Sigh.

  12. 🙂 lol, enjoyed reading this and getting a glimpse into the “saints” head…And because you reminded me, I was supporting England. Need not tell you how that went. Sigh.

  13. lol – England is probably the next option after Brazil..

    One of my all time favorite matches was France vs England at Euro 2004!

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